Does everyone tell you to "git gud scrub?" Do they laugh at how small your internet penis size is? Do you need help getting that 420° No Scope/Quick Scope Sidewinder Cobra Shot? Sure, you could practice until that skill comes naturally, but who has the kind of time to play a video game when they are too busy grinding that video game, [i]ammirite[/i]? If the above describes you, then you need DEWRITO! Once the nectar of the MLG gods has touched your pathetic mortal lips, then the ancient thumb muscles and marijuana soaked reaction times will be imbued into YOU! [b]What you will need to make Dewritos:[/b] [spoiler]-Doritos, [url=http://www.fritolay.com/images/default-source/blue-bag-image/doritos-nacho-cheese.tmb-.png?sfvrsn=1 ]Regular[/url] x2 -Doritos, [url=http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81nfmUmU2qL._SL1500_.jpg ]Cool Ranch[/url] x1 -Doritos, [url=http://www.fritolay.com/images/default-source/blue-bag-image/doritos-salsa-verde.png?sfvrsn=2 ]Salsa Verde[/url] x1 -Doritos, [url=http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mountaindew/images/6/6a/Doritos_Quest_bag_design.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130720215122 ]Mystery Flavor/Quest/Mtn. Dew Flavor[/url] x1 -Mtn. Dew, [url=http://pizzaforcoins.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/2/_/2_liter_mountain_dew.jpg ]Regular[/url] x1 -Mtn. Dew, [url=http://www.whatpoll.com/Posts/greatest%20mountain%20dew%20flavour%204925.jpg ]Baja Blast[/url] x1 -Mtn. Dew, [url=http://www.whatpoll.com/Posts/greatest%20mountain%20dew%20flavour%204924.jpg ]LiveWire[/url] x1 -Mtn. Dew, [url=http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/t_original/vwljpqis2hyc9abzmjge.jpg ]Dewshine[/url] x Single Drop -12 oz of Call of Duty Fanboy tears (for saltiness) -1 oz of Destiny's top 10% urine (for no life saltiness) -Blood of a virgin (so all you need to do is give yourself a papercut) -A small bowl of Ice Cubes -Vanilla Ice Cream -2% Milk[/spoiler] [b]Directions to make Dewritos[/b] [spoiler] -Combine the Regular Doritos, Cool Ranch Doritos and Salsa Verde Doritos into a bowl and slowly crunch them while pouring LiveWire -Pour Dorito/LiveWire mixture into a blender -Add Regular Mtn Dew into the blender -Pour Baja Blast into a bowl -Add 6 oz of Call of Duty Fanboy tears into the bowl -Pour small bowl of Ice Cubes into the blender TIME SENSITIVE While the ice is melting in the mixture, you have roughly [b]seven[/b] minutes to complete this next step -You must recite the following incantation that has passed through a single, Texas bloodline with the intricate knowledge of T-bagging and a deep texan love for guns and a hatred for gays [quote]My Mind is of Doritos My Blood but Mtn. Dew My Heart is set on Quickscoping So let my Aim be True[/quote] After the final line, you must pour the remaining 6 oz of Call of Duty Fanboy tears and the 1 oz of Destiny top 10% urine into the blender -Add the bowl of Baja/Tears into the blender WAIT 30 MINUTES FOR REACTION (I suggest using this time to consider how meaningless life) -Now play the song Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley while adding the Mystery Flavor Doritos into the blender while hopping one foot -Do a 360° turn, yell "Quickscope" and put your foot back down because you look like an idiot -Add the Ice Cream and 2% milk -Now focus all your mind into the three pillars of MLG: [b]Playing[/b] in an elitist way [b]Winning[/b] with rules seperate from non-MLG players [b]Complaining[/b] when those non-MLG players are drastically better than you when you can't hide behind tailored rulesets -With the pillars as the only thing on your mind, add the drop of virgin blood and dewshine -Blend until a chunky, dark orangish-green ooze[/spoiler] So now you have the nectar of the MLG gods and wasted an hour or two of your life just so you can be good at a video game that no one will play in a year. Enjoy yourself while never missing a shot and always winning every game (and the ones you don't win will never "count" despite what your new Twitch stream viewers say). [b]Comment below what you are going to do with your newfound Dew powers[/b]