Hunters and Titans: “A Warlock! A Warlock! We’ve got ourselves a Warlock! Burn her, burn her!”
Sunbreaker: “We have found a Warlock, may we burn her?”
H&Ts: “Burn her! Burn her!”
Striker: “How do you know she is a Warlock?”
Gunslinger: “She looks like one!”
H&Ts: *Cheers in agreement*
S: “Bring her forward.”
Sentinel: “I’m not a Warlock! I’m not a Warlock!”
S: “But you are dressed as one.”
SN: “They dressed me up like this!”
H&Ts: *groans and mumbles*
SN: “And this isn’t a Bond, it’s a rubber band!”
S: *Stretches the rubber band and looks at the crowd* “Well?”
SB: “Well we did do the bond.”
S: “The bond?”
SB: “And the exotic, but she is a Warlock!”
H&Ts: *Cheers in agreement*
S: “Did you dress her up like this?”
SB: “No, no, no.... yes..... a bit! She does got a single use Void super!”
S: “What makes you think she is a Warlock?”
GS: “She beat me and turned me into a salty crucible player!”
S: “A salty crucible player?”
GS: “.... I got over it.”
H&Ts: “Burn her anyway! Burn her!”
[i][u]A Voidwalker in disguise approaches[/u][/i]
S: “Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling if she is a Warlock.”
H&Ts: “Are there? Tell us! Tell us!”
S: “Tell me, what do you do with Warlocks?”
H&Ts: “Burn them! Burn them!”
S: “And what burns apart from Warlocks?”
SB: “More Warlocks!”
Arcstrider: “Cloth.”
S: “So why do Warlocks burn?”
GS: “........Because they wear cloth?”
S: “Good! So how do we tell if she is a Warlock?”
SB: “Measure the length of her clothes!”
S: “Ah, but don’t Titans and Hunters also wear long pieces of cloth?”
SB: “Oh, yeah.”
S: “Does cloth stay as one color?”
AS: “No— it can have shaders! Dismantle her into bright dust!”
H&Ts: *Cheers in agreement*
S: “What colors do shaders turn cloth into?”
H&Ts: “Red! Blue! Green! Yellow! Orange! Purple! Pink! Brown! White!”
Voidwalker in disguise: “Black!”
S: “Exactly! And who else wears black clothing?”
H&Ts: “Edgy people!”
S: “So logically?”
SB: “If she wears long, black clothing..... she’s edgy!”
S: “And therefore?”
H&Ts: “........ A WARLOCK!! A WARLOCK!!”
S: “We shall ask my finest therapist!”
[b][u]END[/u][/b]
Other Python Parodies: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/249423467/0/0
This post was a parody of: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g
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Shameless bump