Afternoon, Bungie
I realize there's a lot of stuff going on right now. Between COVID's effects on your operations and the simply depressing state of your game, I can imagine you have your hands full.
However
Because we all know it will most likely take an absurd amount of time for you to begin affecting meaningful change to the game with regard to player feedback, and you'd much rather spend your energy on aspects of destiny that [u][b][i]truly matter[/i][/b][/u], such as StAt TrAcKiNg eMbLeMs...
I want to bring something of equal importance to your attention.
If you haven't yet noticed, there seems to be something of a peculiar primate problem in your precious PvP. These ape-like creatures are wreaking havoc with seemingly no end in sight. Most of them frequenting the Titan Striker subclass, wielding nothing more than the one and only 'Mindbender's Ambition' shotgun. The also have one of those 'primary weapon' things that people can't shut up about, but are only equipped for decoration, as they simply do not possess the evolutionary brainpower to learn how to use one.
My proposed solution is to offer them the chance of being fed properly after matches-with a delicious banana! This, in hopes to possibly calm their intense, brain-dead, troglodytic behavior, so that they may find somewhere else to be primitive and uncivilized.
Thank you very much for your time.
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Ah yes, a daily dose of potassium. The cornerstone of every healthy apers diet.
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LoL if you’re getting aped by a shotgun rusher then that’s a you problem.... I’m a Sentinel main and my most used weapon is by far Hand Cannons. A primary.... And just so we’re clear I see 2 hunters wearing Stompees and MB for every one Titan.
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Proceed with caution throwing them their banana however, as these ape-like creatures usually possess boots that reflect object back at the thrower, ending in an unfortunate banana to the face. I would recommend approaching them with caution and physically handing them the banana. The rare occurrence of social interaction may help these creatures evolve.
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lmaoo as if glue-eating hunters don't ape. I'm a sniper Titan so fucc off.
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Edited by Demon_XXVII: 4/14/2020 2:40:06 PMHow about this We get a banana melee Land it properly & it shows a violent insertion of one banana into the [i]exit pipe🙊[/i] of said [i]shotgun[/i] [i]ape[/i], and another banana into the shotgun barrel Then they explode & find themselves in orbit 😆 Note: It only works on Shotguns/Erentil users
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Edited by JazzyPaladin477: 4/14/2020 11:21:00 AMA banana should be awarded for every shotgun kill. And a giant banana rank up banner should obscure your screen for 30 seconds every time.
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[quote]*keyboard smacking* *scanning* *scanning* *intense scanning* *robo-slap* *keyboard smacking* *mini-scan* *weeuup!* *scanning* *extrapolating data* *keyboard clicking* “Google show me this guy’s balls, please.” *ballscan_initiated:* *hacker noises* “Sir, you have a little bit of poop, inside your testicles.” *fart* *hacker noises* *computer noises* “Google, show me her naked.” *simulating_simulating_complete:* *hacking noises* “Enhance” *computing:* “Enhance” *computing:* *real hand slap* “Ma’am. Ma’am. Trust me. Trust me.” “Dooon’t. Don’t get close to my face.” “You just have a little bit of poop inside your colon.” “Here’s your email, I’ll just send it right over to you.” *data extrapolation noises* *hacker noises* *error:* *computer smack* *computer smack* *electric fart*[/quote] -Bungie anti-cheat services, circa 2020
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Sounds like a great idea 👍
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Edited by dead fighter 3: 4/14/2020 8:25:43 AMIm waiting for the banana emote lmao. My friend said "If they make a Banana emote it will be the 1 time I give in to the Eververse Cash Shop. I want to use it when we fight apes in trials who only push without playing smart." Im also waiting for the box of crayons drop in crucible though with all these kids sitting aiming at head level waiting for people to peek out so they can fire their crayon at them through a high powered rifle. Oh they missed? Don't worry they got a 50 pack of Crayons. They'll just load another one from the void.
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Edited by Psyggie: 4/14/2020 10:55:16 AMSaladin has one, but it's chrome, and he uses it for other things ....
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Careful, wait till iron banana comes around.