Inb4NoOneF[i]u[/i]ckingReadsThisShit I'm not entirely sure what caused it, just that the incubation period began when I lived with some close family in Denver. I had no idea that a small horror was gaining unholy strength in my intestines. It happened on a day before school, when I was about to catch the regional bus- the shit storm. I rushed to the nearest toilet stall as my bowels decided to drop through Hades and was assailed by two dumptruck sized problems. The public toilets are notorious for uncleanliness, and I wasn't ready to subject my ass to the germs of filthy pleb commoners; and there was literally no door on the stall. Normally this wouldn't be much of a problem, if not for the perfectly cliché (and douchey, god) view of the motherluvin' toilet from the entrance. Everyone who entered would be able to see me and possibly jerk it from around the corner and fulfill their hentai scumbag fantasies I read about on 4chan. It was less than desirable. But my sphincter wasn't negotiating that day, and I needed to get to a functioning toilet before my ass did a reenactment of Treebeard "Releasing the River" with raw, unfiltered sewage. I managed to lay a meager lining of Katie Holmes brand toilet paper (you know, the thinnest shit money can buy) to act as a barrier against my cheeks and the nether realm'd bacteria sprites threatening what was no doubt Syphilis on the underside of that toilet rim. My member dangled precariously inside the bowl like a lone American trapped in the jungles of Vietnam. The noise which erupted from below me must have awoken some sleeping children in China, it was like Krakatoa and Mt. St. Hellens high fiving. Something decided to leave me then, something irreplaceable, something which said to me passingly, "F[i]uc[/i]k you" and plopped into the toilet unceremoniously. I shed no tears for my passenger now departed. After a long cleanup with what I can only describe as being like scrubbing a latrine with a toothbrush I was clean enough to wash my hands without the shameful fear of skid marks in my boxers. I boarded the next regional bus and went merrily on my way to another desensitizing day of school. [spoiler]The hyperbole is strong with this post[/spoiler]