[b]The Unofficial Rules of Iron Banner This Month[/b]
Weapons.
Everyone is to use either: Thorn, The Last Word, Hopscotch Pilgrim, Messenger, at all times. Transgressions will be met with swift destruction to your face. Note further, see item 3 if in doubt.
Blink.
If you are wearing the Ram, blink extra hard and only use shotgun, it makes you more annoying and disguises your lack of skill
Snipers.
Camp with your Icebreaker. Use only that. Blame Bungie for nerfing it into oblivion for PvE.
The Objective
Never capture 2 zones if I'm on your team. If victory is all but assured, slack - let the other team get domination and triple cap for that shinyComeback medal you know they want. It's only a matter of time before Bungie implements the Snatched From The Jaws of Victory medal, so try for it as well.
4.1. If B is open to capture, LEAVE IT! Stare at it instead while aiming down sights. Some dumbass hunter with a timepiece and sniper will attempt to capture it and get wrecked.
4.2. When 4.1 happens, DO NOT COVER THE HUNTER EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AIMING AT THE ZONE. Said hunter has violated Rules 1, 3 and 4.1 and deserves death by a thousand thorns.
4.3. In the event of 4.1, you will always be spawned on the furthest side of the map surrounded by your adversaries. This is negative reinforcement, you objective playing scrublord.
You will always join a match in progress....
5.1. When flying in, you will hear Shaxx announce that heavy ammo is available.
5.2. Upon spawning in you will be:
a. Supered - normally by a blinking ram.
b. Rocketed
c. Losing
c. Up by 2000 points. This will give you a false sense of security because Rule 4 is in effect.
d. Missing the heavy ammo
[u]Bubble Titans[/u]
BITCH about being underpowered then CHEAT by forming a bubble train. CRY when supered. WHINE on the Destiny forums.
[u]Warlocks[/u]
BITCH about not being OP then massacre everything. Melee a full health Bladedancer to DEATH from across the room and get back the sliver of health he took away from you with your Ram, NOVA BOMB or FIREBOLT bubbles, BLINK shotgun a Gunslinger, let your axion bolts CHASE enemies around corners, your scatter grenades BLOOM, your fusions TRACK and your fire bolts BURN. You will also be given lightning grenades in the next expansion because your existing grenades are UNDERPOWERED. This game is very BALANCED, especially if you are a Warlock. Say, 'the top 100 players are all blade dancers,' make this your MANTRA and repeatedly say it to dissenters against the face of overwhelming evidence.
[u]Hunters[/u]
Be SECURE in the knowledge that the top 100 players main as hunters. ARCBLADE entire te- oh crap, a shotgun! GOLDEN GUN - oh crap, a shotgun, Jesus, you have to AIM golden gun, oh god, I missed all 3 shots, WHAT! TRIPMINE everyo- F@CK, you LIVED?! FLUX GRENADE all of - F@CK, you LIVED?! Throw KNIVES at - F@CK, how do you AIM it, oh god, shotgun! ARC BOLT people because that's all you have that's worth a damn but only with an exotic chest piece! You only get ONE grenade because you are not a Warlock and your exotics SUCK! BLINK! BLINK SHOTGUN! F@CK gunslingers! REALIZE you are not a top 100 player in anything other than deaths.
On Bounties
A machine gun bounty exists. Only use rocket launchers. This will consistently be the only bounty you will never complete.
English
#Destiny
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Very well done! But what about striker titans?
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Almost ever IB game I play we either: A) control all points B) lose all points So this whole thing about "don't capture all the points" isn't as universally accepted as you might think. Especially when there are bounties for capturing points. [i][b][u]People don't care about the spawn, they care about completing bounties.[/u][/b][/i]
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Yeah the rocket's thing really bugs me. it's like you gotta hide for a while and wait for the dust to settle.
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Love this post. This is absolutely amazing because it hates every class and not just one particular class and shows how stupid destiny PVP is right now! 11/10 would read again!
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[i]*Wanders around aimlessly, stumbling into this thread*[/i] "Huh? People are actually playing IB this time? I thought it was going to be more like a 'Shoot the Tumbleweeds' version this go around..." [i]*Stumbles back to chair to finish up indie titles, Child of Light and Axiom Verge before TTK drops*[/i] [spoiler]Seriously though, funny shit, mainly because a lot of it is true... You should do a new version of this next IB when all three new (almost guaranteed) OP sub-classes are available; should be tons of new material to work with :)[/spoiler]
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you forgot only pick up heavy when no one else is around. because no one else needs it.
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Iron banner requirements : lagswitch
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You complain about other people complaining yet your are basically complaining yourself :/
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I can't tell you how much I appreciate the bit on the warlocks
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This made me smirk to myself in public, feel achieved
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Tldr Lol u could have got to rank 5 in the time it took u to type that novel
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Tip of the hat.
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oh ya you forgot as soon as you get to the hvy grab it , cause only 1 person should have hvy on your-side, sure way to win
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Jewel of Osiris Invective Exodus plan Am I still being a scrub
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Lighting grenade has been changed for arc bolt grenad
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So you bitching people playing the way they want? Damn.
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Bump haha
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Unofficial rules for this and every other Iron Banner... [spoiler]no rules, no mercy/spoiler]
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2 thumbs up post
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This is amazing
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1. Get rank 4 by using exotic hand cannons or blink shotgun. 2. Buy felwinters lie. 3. Stop playing.
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Lol the last rule is so true. I dont even bother picking up the bounty because I know I'm only gonna use rockets.
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Ihave been using NLB and simliars wrath and having a great time
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I raged for the first time in years last night playing iron banner because of all of the above. I can't wait til the nerfs and balancing of pvp
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I'm a hunter capping zones with my oversoul and Ldr get at me.