Part 1: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/198843593/0/0
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"Arrrghhhhh!!! I can't believe she would do this to me! After all we been through!? It's not fair!"
BraveCole The Titan shouted, as he hopelessly leaned over the railing on the tower, in obvious distraught.
His ghost hovered over to him. "I know, BraveCole. Breakups can be hard, especially when the cause of it is unloyalty. But it's best if you try to get your mind off of her a-"
"Get my mind off of her!? Ghost, she [i]was[/i] my mind! She was the only thing I cared or thought about.." BraveCole sighed again. "And now she's gone."
"The pain is great, I know. But you have been through worse pain than this."
"No, I haven't."
"But of course you have! Remember the time that one Devil Captain caught you by surprise and shoved a shock blade right between your eyes?"
"Yeah. I do."
"Lucky I was there standing by for revive, huh? Oh! And that one you misjudged that jump from a cliff on Mars and you landed on solid martian rock, causing your spine and central nervous system to break in several different places, killing you instantly? Or how about that time you were sparrow racing and hit a bump, flinging you head first and bursting your skull on a Vex construct? Or maybe when you pissed off Queen Mara Sov by whistling at her and she threw you in the Prison of Elders without any of your equipment, where you were torn to shreds by the thra-"
"Ghost. Those were all [i] physical [/i] pains. This.. this is a pain that hurts my very soul. My light feels like it's draining from my very body.. my heart is broken."
BraveCole's ghost did not hesitate to run a full diagnostic scan, a green scanner emitting from its eye.
"Hmmm.. vitals seen to be normal. Heart seems to be intact, and beating, although slower. Whatever do you mean your heart is.. broken?"
"Not literally, ghost. Heartbreak is something you feel when someone you care about deeply no longer feels the same about you. When they don't accept your love. When they leave you by yourself, wondering what you did or why you weren't good enough. It's an emotional pain. One that sometimes hurts more than a shock blade through the face or Thrall's claw up your ass."
"I see. Updating medical logs. Condition 'Heartbroken' added to medical library. Is.. there anything I can do guardian?"
"Yeah. Open Guardian Tinder."
"As you wiiiii- woaaah. Hey, isn't 'guardian tinder' the thing that got you into this Heartbreak mess?" His ghost asked.
"Yeah. And it's gonna get me out of it."
"You just got your heart broken, and your solution to that is to potentially find someone else who will do the same? Maybe you should just take some time an-"
"Take time? Ain't nobody got time for that. Let me see the results, ghost." BraveCole said.
His ghost sighed. "Fine. Here, first one."
There was a picture of a several female guardians, posing in the reef with a bunch of other female guardians, all with their knees bent and their hands on top of them, and some throwing up peace signs.
[b]Selissa[/b]
[i]Hi there, I'm Selissa! I'm not sure why I had my ghost download this silly app, lol but my fire team suggested it to me so I figured why not! I'm looking for something serious! If you send me an invite to a private match just so you can get in my greaves, you will be blocked! But anyway, I'm a hunter, A gunslinger who is looking to set her sights on her one true love![/i]
BraveCole looked at the picture and squinted. "Which.. which one is her?"
His ghost looked at the picture with him. "Uh.. here. Let's look at all the guardians in this picture, go to another picture and see if we see the same one."
"Smart, ghost. Okay.. that one's hot. That one is decent. That one's got hella nice hips. That one could really clean off her helmet. And that one is wearing gear she probably bought from Variks. Please Traveler, please don't be the one wearing the PoE gear.."
"Scrolling to next picture.." BraveCole's ghost said.
And there was a picture, with only one guardian in it this time, and alas, it was the hunter wearing PoE gear.
"God DAMMIT. The ugly chicks always put the picture with her and her friends in it to fool us! Decline!"
"Understood. Next result coming in.."
The result was in, and there was a picture of a female Titan who was laying down seductively on the shores of Venus.
[b]Yuka[/b]
[i]Hi there~ They call me Yuka, but usually by the end of the night, they're screaming it. I'm on this app for one reason; to find a guardian who is able to satisfy me and my.. needs. Treat me right, and maybe I'll let you spank me with my hammer of Sol. Treat me wrong and I will aim this fist of havoc right at your crotch. Your choice. <3 Yuka.[/i]
"..."
"..."
BraveCole cleared his throat, but said nothing. He took it upon himself to make the decision, and pressed the "decline" button.
"Wait! Guardian, you pressed decline!" His ghost said.
"Yeah, she was way too out there."
"But.. uh.. I uh.. yes, of c-course! W-Way too out there for my tastes."
BraveCole raised an eyebrow. "Ghost, you always stutter when you lie."
"N-No I don't."
"Yes you do. Hey, it's okay to say you liked that girl. She was pretty hot."
"Guardian, seeing you press decline on the girl made me.. heartbroken."
BraveCole laughed. "Ghost, stop, haha that was a pretty good one thou-"
BraveCole looked at the next result, as it had already appeared.
It was a beautiful awoken hunter, with eyes as blue as the sky. It was..
[i]Her.[/i]
BraveCole stood there, in silence, with a blank expression. His mind raced with thousands of words and questions, yet his mouth didn't have the ability to form a single phrase.
[b]Lianna[/b]
[i]Hello there. My name is Lianna, and it's been a while since I used this thing. I'm getting out of a bad breakup and I'm looking for someone who is willing to show me what a real relationship is like. I don't want a repeat of the my last partner. Send me a fire team invite if you're interested![/i]
BraveCole's eyes remained open, but a tear began to roll down his cheek. He closed them, and let the tears fall.
"Close.. close the app, ghost.." he muttered.
"BraveCole, I'm.. I'm sorry that you h-"
"Just close the damn app! I don't want to see or use it again!" He turned away. "What's the point anyway? I could scroll the a hundred guardians, yet none of them will be as amazing as she was. Yet she could scroll through a hundred more, and find some that are way better than I could ever be.." BraveCole trailed off. "If I were to die of this Heartbreak.. do me a favor. Don't revive me."
His ghost flew over to him and knocked his chassis across BraveCole's forehead.
"Ouch! Hey, what gi-"
"You know exactly what! It was your idea in the first place to use that app, you cannot get upset when you see something that intensifies your emotional pain! Guardian.. there is a whole solar system out there for you to explore and discover. You.. You cannot let your broken heart be your downfall. You just have to pull yourself together and show you, and more importantly Her, that you will be just fine."
BraveCole stood and stared at his ghost, before smiling. "I guess you're right. Come on. Let's go explore some catacombs on the moon and play Red Rover with some ogres and knights."
"Sounds awful. Let's do it!" BraveCole's ghost said.
"Nice, but first, the post master.." BraveCole spoke, as he began walking.
His ghost floated suit, before vibrating. He had received a message! He internally read it.
[i][b]From Lianna[/b][/i]
[i]I saw your profile on GT and I've been thinking. I know I've done wrong in the past but.. I'm willing to give it another shot?[/i]
BraveCole's Ghost pondered for a moment before deleting the app, and the message.
"He'll be fine."
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This has been a cringe way too overdue.