'Sup motherf*ckers.
Happy Easter from all of us at SHIELD. Today, we will be celebrating our latest victory against Hydra. We pretty much took and/or destroyed the following:
-A Lola Bunny body pillow, which we burned
-The tesseract, which was a fake (thanks a lot Thanos)
-A PS4, which we factory reset. We also recently got Spider-Man's new game to enjoy on it.
-A several hundred replicas of Gjallarhorn, which we spray painted into Iron Gjallarhorns.
-$400,000,000
-42 crates of yellow cake Uranium
-6 Sentinels that have been modified to only target fans of Homestuck. At Wolverine's request, we destroyed them so they won't be able to revert back to their original anti-mutant programming.
-400 fuel cells containing Tesseract energy, which we put into our quinjets.