And here we are, on an internet forum.
You can live life however you choose, but I challenge every single one of you to start making your life even better. You can even start right now. If you need some pointers on how to do that, I've got some that I urge you to read. tldr at bottom
[u]Step 1: Interact with other people more often.[/u]
Eye contact, a simple smile, or a even a "hello" to someone passing by is the first step to becoming more outgoing. Some of you don't have this problem, but it doesn't hurt to do it more.
Offer to help people as well.
[u]Step 2: Learn to be grateful for what you have[/u]
The more grateful you are, the less you take for granted. The more grateful you are, you lower the standards you put on everything and everyone else. Holding other humans to higher standards than you hold yourself is a bad place to be in.
Be modest, but confident. Failing to try is worse than failing to succeed. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. What fun is perfection anyways?
[u]Step 3: Change your body language[/u]
Stop slumping and slouching around other people. Keeping your hands firmly in your pockets, or not maintaining eye contact show a lack of confidence. Don't cover your face with your hands unless you are laughing or are surprised.
[u]Step 4: Fake it.[/u]
You ever heard the phrase, "Fake it until you make it"?. Well that applies more often than you think it would. Half of succeeding is believing. If you're shy or not confident, keep calm. Don't try to be the loudest, most talkative person in the room. Keep calm, but don't let yourself wind up outside of the conversation circle.
Also learn that the most important opinion of yourself comes from you. Whether or not that pretty girl thinks you're physically attractive is nothing to cry over or be proud of. If you think you're attractive, the damn it man, you're attractive.
[u]Step 5: Lower your standards**[/u]
Going back to step 2 for a second here. Remember, self-confidence comes from whether or not we meet our standards for ourselves. You can't worry about impressing all the people.
** A couple people have misunderstood this, which is my fault. What I mean is that you should not have unrealistic expectations for others or for yourself. If you do, and you would know deep down if you did, try to lower them.
You should always push yourself to be your best and not make excuses.
[u]Step 6: Go out[/u]
Being alone isn't the worst thing in the world. Far from it. You can go out alone, with a friend, with a potential girl/boyfriend, a parent, whoever. It does not matter. You can't tell the same old stories to the same old people. They'll get bored, and so will you.
Don't skip on hanging out with someone if you really have nothing better to do. If someone asks you to hang out on Friday(better yet, you ask them), do it. Don't say "I'll see" or "Nah I'm too busy"(unless you truly are). It's better to initially give the green light and call it off later than to say no immediately.
[quote][/quote]
tldr: Interact with people, be grateful, stop slouching, make yourself believe in yourself, lower your standards, and go socialize.
There you go. A couple simple steps to making life just a little better. I really don't expect much of a response to this, but if it helps a couple people, hell I've done good. If you've got tips you'd like to share, post em too.
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I am an introvert and by instinct I do all of these tips in my job. None of it works, and I'm still regularly depressed. I have to stress that none of this changes anything.
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I'm already taking some of that to heart myself, no need to worry.
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bump because y'all need it
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Hah, I love spending time with people, it's a lot of fun! Going to watch Iron Man 3 with some of my friends on the 24th, it's gonna be awesome!
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You talk as if we care that we are on an internet forum.
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Lower your standards? That's the worst advice you could ever give a person.
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quality post
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i'm in a frat and I enjoy doing frat stuff and socializing #getonmylevel
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I've tried doing this.. It worked for a week and then I slowly seeped back into my regular routine. Its really hard to force yourself to change so suddenly. You forgot to take into account conditions people might have that will make it even harder or impossible to do. It doesn't feel natural for me to do some of the most basic social things that everyone else finds basic.
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I'm happy with my life, thanks. Or at least the one I had in Tenerife...
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Good Guide. My only problem is that no one "asks me to hang out on Friday."
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I don't feel like lowering my standards. It leads to pain, but, -blam!-, that pain has a point.
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Everyone is out experiencing life...
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No there's not. I have no interaction with other people at all. Do you know what it's like to eat dinner alone every day for two weeks?
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Quality post! I used to actually be pretty introverted, but I did things similar to this and now I'm much more socially active. You should also add hygiene on the list. I was never unhygienic, but I know people who whine and complain about having no friends, while they're wearing a week-old shirt and talking to me with rancid breath. It's definitely not the only factor, but it's a big one.
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Were it so easy.
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I really like this. I can agree with all of this, very well put. Confidence and a commitment to being the person you want to be, in all aspects of life, are incredibly important. It's surprising how much you can change if you truly believe in yourself to.
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