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작성자: Dbread 12/1/2015 2:20:55 PM
47

Pegboi Deej's Revenge: An Offtopic Story (Part 3, Finale)

It was time to strike. The Flood, now accompanied by Achronos, headed to the Throne room. Deej's voice came on over the loudspeakers. "So, you think you can defeat me? I have an army. All you are is a ragtag bunch of edgy shitposters. In my years at Bungie, I was called a fgt too many times to count. Offtopic isn't strong enough to take me out." "He doesn't know we have Achronos yet." said Recon. "This gives us the upper hand." The Flood were ready as they entered the Throne Room. Deej was lounging on his Throne, surrounded by guards. Brickler was reluctantly feeding him lettuce. Upon the Flood entering, hundreds of guards came flooding in from the sides of the room. Deej laughed. "You fools! You can't beat my army!" Achronos stepped forward and spoke. [i]"You are the alts of Achronos. Remember your calling."[/i] Instantly, the pupils of the guards swelled and covered their eyes completely. They now had the same eyes as Achronos. They spoke in unison, in one voice. [i]"We are the alts of Achronos. We remember our calling."[/i] They all turned on Deej and raised their weapons. Deej looked scared. But the fearful look changed into a sneer, then into a twisted smile. "Oh bravo!" He proclaimed, "You decided to let Achronos out! But I'm afraid my mind isn't as weak as the guards. That trick won't work on me." He stepped back into a suit of Spartan armor. He laughed from inside of it. "Fight me if you wish! But don't be foolish." Longface stepped forward. "[i]We[/i] won't fight you. But [i]they[/i] will. Now Britton and XDC! Release the Desticles!" But Britton and XDC didn't hear the cue. They had gotten into another fight over Trump. They were screaming at the top of their lungs at each other, in front of the cage of raving desticles. Soon, the fight turned violent. Britton punched XDC. XDC kicked Britton. Britton bit XDC's arm. XDC sent Britton reeling backwards with a headbutt. Right into the Desticle Release Button. XDC stood over Britton and raised his arms. "TRUMP WINS!" he yelled, "BUMP FOR TRUMP! REPUBLICANS FOR THE WI-." He never got to finish his sentence because he was bowled over by a seething wave of desticles. From the throne room, everybody could feel rumbling. The Flood got to higher ground. Deej wasn't able to; the suit was too heavy. Desticles plowed into Deej, knocking him over. As soon as they spotted Deej, the started raving about nerfs, Gjallarhorn 2.0, Oryx hard mode, and other things that are to horrid to name here. Deej shook them off, stood up, and started cutting through swaths of desticles. But they just kept on coming. The Flood weren't spared either. They had just made it to the high ground when the Desticle hoard came rushing in. A few dozen desticles took notice of the Flood and started climbing. The Flood used chairs, books, anything they could find to push back the onslaught. Cellar Door, Navy Seal, and Uncle Moe Lester were seized by the crowd and consumed alive. Achronos controlled the minds of the desticles after a few minutes of the droves of them flooding into the Throne Room. But Deej's body was no where to be found. Suddenly, glass walls shot up from the floor, sealing Purse 2 away from the rest of Offtopic. Deej's cruel laugh rang out from over the intercom. "Your attack has failed. I live, and now I have you right where I want you. NoiselessPurse2, you have 2 options. You either have to kill the Flood, or... nuke Boston." Two buttons slid from the floor. Option one was labeled "kill Flood". Option two was labeled "nuke Boston". Purse hesitated. He was in indecision. Either situation was bad. But he looked at the Flood and knew what he had to do. He whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything he could say that this cab was rare But he thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, holmes to Bel Air' He pulled up to the house about 7 or 8. And he yelled to the cabbie 'Yo holmes smell ya later'. He looked at his kingdom. He was finally there. To sit on his throne as the Prince of Bel Air. [spoiler]Authors note:You all hate me now[/spoiler] Deej was in shock. Through all of his calculations, all of his numbers he crunched to make the perfect plan, this had never happened! "This... this shouldn't have happened. It goes against all logic. I don't get it." Recon spoke up from the crowd. "That's because it isn't logical. This is Offtopic. There are no rules to follow, no laws hold us back. Only one thing makes sense here: OP is [b]always[/b] fgt." With those words, Deej jerked back, screaming. His body disintegrated into ash, his final sounds echoing out. It was over. Deej was dead. Then Boston blew up and the Flood died anyways. [b][u]THE END[/u][/b] PART 1: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176850164/0/0 PART 2: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176968445/0/0 Honorable Mention to Deadpool

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