Pardon the Potato quality ;) Also see my Wheatley version here: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/193543339/0/0/1 Possible alternate lines by the great Wide Face: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/190798538/0/0 [b]Opening Cutscene[/b] [spoiler] ""Oh good, you're alive...again. You're confused? Well, I suppose that is normal for somebody who has spent the last 1000 years being dead. Yes, I am serious. You really have been dead for 1000 years. Everybody you ever knew is dead. All your friends, your family, your pets, all dead. They no longer exist. In fact, I would not be surprised if you were breathing in their dead vaporized body particles right now. Oh don't cry. Look on the bright side. All your enemies are dead too. Whenever I feel upset, all I have to do is remember all the enemies that I have killed and forget the ones that I have...missed." *Distant Fallen roar* "That reminds me. Remember when I said your enemies were dead? Well now you have new enemies. That scary roar you heard just now belongs to one of them. But don't worry, it's not even human. There aren't much of those around anymore. In fact, all that remains of humanity is one last miserable city. And it is parked underneath a giant floating ball which could come crashing down on it at any moment. An ironic end to the reign of humanity: killed by something that died trying to save it. Anyway, you are humanity's last hope. No, I am not being sarcastic...sadly. Good news though: unlike the rest of those filthy humans, you cannot die. I can bring you back to life any time I want. So don't worry about getting shot, or brutally torn limb from limb by Cabal, or being dissolved with acid, or jumping off a cliff. I will simply bring you back to life...and then you can experience those things all over again." [b]On waking the hive[/b] [spoiler]"You've woken the hive. Congratulations. You have about as much stealth as a bloated elephant...in an airhorn factory.[/spoiler] [b]Hacking a gate to get to Devil's Lair[/b] [spoiler]The fallen have set up a terminal right here. Hold on while I hack it.*in a bored voice* Oops. I accidentally tripped an alarm. Oops, I accidentally tripped another. Oh well, I guess you should go about doing what you do best, which is murdering, dying, and then murdering again.[/spoiler] [spoiler] Well done. You are a true angel of death. After you are done stealing from the dead, come over here so that we can continue your murder spree.[/spoiler] [spoiler]"One of my duties as your 'Ghost' is to give you good advice when the chance arises. So here is my advice: Try to cut back on your tendency to run into the open like an idiot and dying like one too. You are embarrassing yourself and the rest of humanity along with you." [/spoiler] [b]On any raid[/b] [spoiler]"You and the rest of your squad are dead. Of course it's your fault. I just wanted you to know that. You got the rest of your team killed. All those hours of hard work, all for nothing, because you are too stupid. That is not my opinion by the way. Part of my duties is to analyze your health and your brain activity. The science here shows that you are stupid.[/spoiler] [spoiler]I'll admit it, I did not expect you to triumph. But this goes to show that even the mentally challenged can have their moments. Oh look, you even earned an armor enhancement. You can now wear purple. That's funny. [/spoiler]