Pizza boxes and burrito wrappers litter the floor... batteries and root beer bottles form a dejected pile in one corner... a guitar amplifier, still plugged in, buzzes persistently...
This is the sad scene we find our hero, Pencilsnake, living in as the midday sun rises high overhead. The melancholy master of music rises slowly out of his bed, throws his leather jacket on over his rumpled shirt and jeans and drags himself over to the bathroom. As if he would start a conversation, he gazes into the mirror...
[quote]Pencilsnake: Ugh, I’m just slogging through my days... what am I doing? I should be out there, kicking ass in concert and fighting evildoers. But I just don’t got the sauce right now...
Mirror: So go get it back, why don’t ya?
Pencisnake: Oh me, I’m too far out of my groove. I don’t think I’ll ever get it back!
Mirror: Quit being pessimistic and listen to the radio.
Pencilsnake: The... radio?
Mirror: You heard me.[/quote]
Practically challenging his existential crisis, the static on Pencil’s bedside radio diminishes and a voice cuts through.
[quote]Azruphel: “Sword... *static* ...bring me you finest work... *static* ...one week... *static*”
Pencilsnake: A sword? I’m no blacksmith, I’m a guitarist!
Mirror: Maybe not a sword, but what about an [i]axe[/i]?
Pencilsnake: *gasp* Hotcakes and hammer-ons, you’re right, this could be just what I need!! Thanks, me!
Mirror: That’s what I’m here for.[/quote]
Energized by a new mission, Pencil throws on his boots and runs to the back of his house, and throws open his garage doors. He drags out a whole host of material: electronics, some decal paint, and some Mithril leftover from a dwarven rock
n’ roll concert he once played. He grabs his Squire Stratocaster and plays “Fire”, by Jimi Hendrix, sparking a mighty blaze to start shaping metal. Hours go by, sparks fly, and if ever there was a montage-able series of events, it would be these.
[quote]Pencilsnake: Yes... Yes! YYYEEEEEEEESSSSS!!! Perfection!![/quote]
When all is said and done, Pencilsnake stands, sweating and breathing heavily, with a bold new creation in his hands. A guitar!
But no, dear reader, not JUST a guitar. Our superstar swordsmith plays a blazing riff on the shining white-silver instrument, then tosses it up the air, letting it spin once. As it flips, a handle protrudes from the bottom and back of the guitar, a blade slides out from the side of the neck, and the cutaways fold to make a crossguard for the now extended...
[i][b][u]ULTRA SHREDDER GREATSWORD!!![/u][/b][/i]
Pencilsnake executes a few quick thrusts and slashes, then admires his work. He morphs it back to guitar form by flipping the toggle switch, and sheathes it on his back.
[quote]Pencilsnake: Well, there’s a sword, and it’s a fully functional electric guitar! Ladies and gentlemen, I think I [b]GOT MY FREAKIN GROOVE BACK, BABY!![/b][/quote]
And like that, Pencilsnake jumps on his Harley motorcycle, and rides off into Offtopic... now all he needs to do is find who to give it to.
[spoiler]Yeah, I’m writing story stuff again. ‘Bout time too.[/spoiler]