[u]Here is a TL;DR[/u] OP saw a bird while walking his pet, OP gives it worms, and plays the role of vet. The bird can talk, says its name is Albatross. Weird? You bet. The whole Earth is one big organism (This wacko might need an exorcism) The bird gets bigger, meets a girl Then he decides to start poopin on cars (This guy is definitely from Mars) City Hall bans the bird to India OP misses him, The End

wat TL;DR

[quote]I found a bird in the park today walking my dog[/quote]So the [b]BIRD[/b] was [b]WALKING YOUR DOG[/b] ?!? How did he get the lead on you dog? And your dof sound more like a pussy, being walked by a bird :(

[quote]It was a little baby bird and it was too young to fly. So I scooped it up and and made a little bird's nest for it. I had some worms I was saving for fishing later in the week so I decided to eat them and regurgitate them so the little bird could have some food. IT really enjoyed the mashed up worms and said, "Thank you." I didn't know birds could talk so I had a mini conversation with it. His name was Albatross and he was only 3 weeks old. He missed his egg so I made a birdhouse that looked like an egg for him which he really enjoyed. He told me that all the people on earth are just a tiny fraction of what makes up this planet. We are essentially just a giant organ of the earth which has its own purpose. Each species on the planet serves its purpose for the earth. The earth he told me was a giant organism and we are all part of it. We may be to young to recognize what it is but he said that later in our planetary development we will recognize what it means to be living on this earth. Albatross eventually grew big enough to become my personal mode of transportation. he would fly me to work and take me to the bars late at night. It was nice because he never drank and I didn't have to worry about driving home drunk. They wouldn't let him in the bars so I eventually had to petition the city to allow birds into bars and other such public areas. It worked like a charm and he was quite the conversation starter. We would talk about when he would molt and how he would shower himself. I did have to convert my bath tub into a bird fountain. The shower head was to powerful for him to use and I attached a garden hose to the pipes so he could shower more comfortably. he was a happy guy but one day he met another bird and they got to talking. They decided it would be fun if they began pooping on all the cars that passed by. City hall decided this was a bad thing and they banned him from doing so. So now he lives in India where he is a well respected taxi. And the best part is he can shower wherever he wants to because the people don't mind over there. He was a fun guy I sure do miss him.[/quote] There we go

Well grab some carpet and lather it with leopard breast milk that was beautiful

-blam!- my life

I don't. I can't. -blam!- this.

Having a sapient human-sized bird for a pet may or may not be my heart's deepest desire.