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Edited by xoPraedyth:
8/31/2016 3:54:21 AM
85
What Relic Iron really is.
You've been lied to.
You've been deceived.
You've been tricked.
Relic Irons Description:
"A post-Collapse material with extraordinary density"
As a scientist studying the Cabal race for 2+ years, I regret to inform you that the description is false. Relic Iron is nothing more than the droppings of the Cabal themselves.
Yes..you've read that correctly.
RELIC IRON IS CABAL DROPPINGS
RELIC IRON IS CABAL TURDS
RELIC IRON IS CABAL DUNG
RELIC IRON IS CABAL POO
I myself can't help but feel slightly disappointed and hurt that all this time I've been running around Mars searching high and low, walking great distances, traveling the vast, dusty terrain only to pick up something that the Cabal have dropped.. I feel a great weigh of shame on my shoulders. I can't even look at my Hunter, Warlock or Titan the same anymore..
Think about it for a minute.. Why is the Relic Iron far off into corners or underneath railways or in areas not many guardians wonder? Because like humans, the Cabal don't want other beings to see their poo. So they go off into the distance to take off a chunk of their armour, squat and drop a deuce.
Valus Ta'aurc..
probably dropped a mountain of Relic Iron in the room he comes out of in the Cerberus Vae III Strike.
The Shield Brothers...
Kept taking turns going in and out of the Cabal washroom they've set up in the room you confront them in. Dropping double the Relic Iron.
And you really don't wanna know what the Psion Flayers were up to before they spawned in on the Dust Palace Strike.
[spoiler]wake up guardians.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]I hate Rahool[/spoiler]
[spoiler]rise of relic iron[/spoiler]
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Valus
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Eight
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Seven
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Seven
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And I pay hard earned legendary marks for Cabal shit! Smh...
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2 RepliesYeah now explain relic crystal
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Ha! Was wondering what that odd smell was once I log on to play.
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3 RepliesAnother guy posting shit on the forums...
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I -blam!-ing knew you were going to say this, and I was still surprised.
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Edited by randomhero204: 9/1/2016 4:17:26 AMPlot twist. What we thought was a bomb on shield bros strike is actually a toilet they desperately need to use and we won't let them... #wearethebadguy
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Edited by Sanctus Michael: 9/1/2016 11:39:20 AMCabal shit may be "material of extraordinary density." Technically, the description could still be correct.
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ah man, I have 400 of those nasty "packages" in my vault
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I don't know how the Cabal do it without exploding or imploding. They wear those suits so that doesn't happen.
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One organic life's crap is someone else's treasure.
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Edited by Allah: 9/1/2016 5:02:57 AMLore connection: "It was 2751 and the golden age was well underway. The core planets had all been colonized and it was time to move on to the outer planets. First on everyone's list was Uranus. Not just to explore Uranus but to penetrate the surface of Uranus' supple and smooth outer layer and discover the magic underneath. In one day.... All hopes of happily exploring Uranus was lost. The first probe should have told us everything. Once it had penetrated Uranus a black ooze began to seep out of Uranus. Along with it came waves of explosive gas. Then we realized the horror. Beneath the surface of Uranus, dormant for millennia, an Alien race called the Cabal. Cabals deep inside Uranus had set up manufacturing facilities producing harvesters for the collection of relic iron. Relic iron being petrified fecal matter from generations past, ancient explorers, the first to penetrate Uranus, leaving behind detritus klingingon to the outlying areas of Uranus. We knew then that not only were we not the first to explore Uranus but that we would have to share and occupy Uranus together. This began the brief period where mankind shared Uranus with Cabals deep inside."
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Man, this is just... deep.
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Which one is real??? ☻☻
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[spoiler]yay[/spoiler]
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Show spoiler
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1 ReplyBest post I've seen on the forum in a year or more haha. This sh[b]i[/b]t is hilarious, literally!
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Oh god that would hurt more than chipotle night
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Cool so the void sword is just a way of smacking ur opponent with crap.
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7 RepliesI love inhaling helium filaments
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I caught space crabs from a cabal once....once. True story
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I just buy them with marks, only fools still go look for them
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5 RepliesI'm dropping some relic iron myself while reading this.
